Fort Lauderdale Divorce Lawyer Blog

When a third grade teacher recently got divorced, she had trouble explaining the concept to her two children, ages 4 and 7. While the children had some knowledge about a divorce, the wife decided to read books that dealt with child custody matters such as time-sharing, shared parental responsibility and parenting plans in order to help her children understand what their parents were going through. Now, divorce attorneys in Miami-Dade and Broward may recommend that you purchase a book by Kristi Schwartz titled Divorced Together For the Sake of Children. The book was released on January 22, 2010 and may help Florida children understand about a divorce.

When you meet with your Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer, you will ask many questions related to alimony, child support, property distribution and child custody matters such as time-sharing and a parenting plan. However, Broward divorce lawyers are often asked how a client should tell their children that they are getting divorced.

Couples should try to separate before filing for divorce and explain to their children that they have not been getting along very well and want to see if that helps. Never blame the other parent, even if there was an affair or other reason that you are filing for divorce. Once you have your new living arrangements it is important to discuss this with your children since it is important for them to know what will and what will not change in their lives.

It is very important for you to explain to your children that the divorce is not their fault and has nothing to do with anything that they have done. While you should encourage your children to ask questions, it is important to give them time to adjust. Last but not list, have your children meet with a therapist if they are not adjusting well if you observe sleeplessness, clinginess, angry acting out, truancy, depression and drug or alcohol use. If you do not know a therapist for your children, you can always ask your Fort Lauderdale divorce attorney for a suggestion.

When you are getting a divorce in Broward, this is a difficult time for your child. Many times children blame themselves for you and your spouse getting divorced. You and your spouse need to be aware of the psychological effects of a divorce in Fort Lauderdale and the impact of custody, visitation, a parenting plan and time-sharing schedule. The adjustment during a divorce for your children is critical to their well-being.

During your divorce in Miami-Dade and Broward, your attorney will advise you that there is a requirement to attend a parenting course. The parenting course helps teach you and your spouse how to handle your divorce in a healthy way for your children. However, it is important to follow the lessons that are taught during the parenting course even after the Florida marital and family law judge enters the Final Judgment of Dissolution of Marriage.

You should never use your child as a spokesperson, messenger or information carrier between you and your spouse. This can cause emotional distress for your child. Do not let your child read an email or text message that you are sending to your spouse related to your child.

Your telephone conversations between your spouse should be amicable when your child is present in the home. While you may think that your child is busy watching TV, playing a video game or on the internet, children are attuned to everything that you are saying on the telephone since they are young and able to multitask.

During your divorce in Fort Lauderdale, your lawyer will have to assist you in creating a parenting plan and time-sharing schedule. While you can talk to your child about the time that they will spend with you and your spouse, never emotionally batter your spouse in front of your child. Last but not least, never forget that children love both of their parents.

Your Broward divorce lawyer will explain to you the importance of minimizing the impact of your divorce for the benefit of your children. While Florida marital and family law has a presumption for shared parental responsibility, your children may feel torn between you and your spouse's custody, time-sharing and parenting plan litigation in the Broward divorce court. However, the effect of your Fort Lauderdale divorce can effect your children during their marriage.

Children who grew up residing with both of their parents are less likely to get divorced or separated than those who did not. 18% of adults who grew up in an intact family have never been divorced or separated. On the other hand, 28% of those who lived in a non-intact family have been divorced or separated.

Adult children of divorced parents have an elevated risk of seeing their own marriages end in a divorce. Unfortunately, children from a divorced home have significant doubts about marital stability. They also have a greater perceived chance of divorce and more often report marital difficulties even when they are happily marriage. Children from a divorced home are more likely to escalate conflict and reduce communication with their spouse.

During your divorce or paternity case in Broward County, minor children are often placed in the middle of their parents custody, time-sharing and parenting plan disputes. Your Fort Lauderdale divorce lawyer will explain to you that your child is entitled to have a relationship with both parents. The marital and family law court located north of Hallandale Beach in downtown Fort Lauderdale will do its best to protect your children during your case.

You should always remember to think about what is in the best interest of your children. The following will help your children prosper and maintain the best behavior during and after your divorce or paternity case:

1. Children should have the right not to be asked to choose sides between their parents.

2. Children should not be told the details of a bitter, nasty divorce.

3. Children should not be told bad things about the other's personality or character.

4. Children should be able to speak to the other parent in privacy, unless that parent is suspected of abuse.

5. Children should have the right not to be cross examined after visiting the other parent.

6. Children should not be used as a messenger from one parent to the other.

7. Children should not be asked to tell untruths by one parent to the other.

8. Children have the right not to be used as a confidante regarding the divorce proceedings by one parent or the other.

9. Children need to be able to express their feelings.

10. Children have the right to be protected from parental warfare.

11. Most importantly, children have the right to love their parents -- both their mother and their father.

It is very common for feuding spouses to stay together for the sake of their children. Instead of seeking a divorce in the Seventeenth Judicial Circuit Court in Broward County, spouses stay married despite their growing disdain for one another. Psychologists from Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach counties have all studied the disconcerting effects divorce has on the kids. However, new research has led many Fort Lauderdale couples to file for divorce despite their children because staying together may have more damning effects than breaking apart.

Studies from the past have concluded that children of divorced parents are more likely to have lower grades, have high risk of health issues, and are more likely to become the victim of child molestation. On top of these risks, there are emotional damages as well, feelings of guild and abandonment.

Today Show psychologist correspondent Robi Ludwig, reached the conclusion that divorce is sometimes a good thing for the kids. When parents who are involved in a high-conflict marriage, where there is a lot of yelling and arguing, stay together, the children are deeply affected. The constant arguing causes the children to feel stressed out. Moreover, it leads them to feel ignored because their parents are continuously absorbed in their own contentious battle. The children start to feel that their needs are not being met at home. All of these emotions and feelings led the children to engage in dysfunctional behaviors.

Children whose parents are going through a divorce in Broward County, Florida have a tough time dealing with the breakdown of their family. M. Gary Neuman, a Florida psychotherapist, is the creator and founder of The Sandcastles Program, which helps South Florida families cope with the inevitable stress resulting from divorce.

Sandcastles originated in Miami-Dade County, Florida and is now mandatory for families seeking a divorce. The Judge will not enter a final divorce decree if the minor children have not participated in the Sandcastles Program. Unlike Miami-Dade County, Florida, minor children are not required to take the Sandcastles course when there parents get divorced in Fort Lauderdale, Florida.

Sandcastles is a three-and-a-half-hour, one time group session for children of divorce between the ages of six and seventeen. The children meet in a group where they find solace in other children who are also going through divorce in their home. For three hours the children role-play, draw pictures, write poems, compose letters to their parents, and answer questions about their experience. The last half hour includes the children's parents and focuses on improving communication between them. The Sandcastles program has been featured on the Oprah Winfrey show.

Therapists there are working on making the Sandcastles Program a priority in other states such as Washington. In Broward County, children are left out of the picture during divorce proceedings. Children should be given an opportunity to voice their stress and emotions during their parent's divorce. It is quite obvious that the children are hurting. In a recent divorce, there was a distressed elementary school child whose parents are currently going through a divorce. This child, while participating in the Sandcastles Program, was asked to draw a picture of his feelings. He drew a handgun with the caption "I wish I could kill my problems."

Making programs such as The Sandcastles Program a priority for families struggling through a divorce gives the children a voice and an avenue to be heard.

Whether you reside in Weston, Hollywood, Hallandale, Cooper City, or any of the cities in Florida it is important that you minimize the pain that a child suffers during your divorce. Many parents do anything and everything to avoid upsetting their child during the dissolution of their marriage in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. However, the best of intentions are often forgotten when a couple begins the process of a divorce in Broward County, Florida.

Key factors that affect a child's ability to cope with their parents divorce are the quality of contact with both parents and the level of contact between them. During a divorce, you must provide a stable environment for your child at a time when, ironically, you may feel that you are least able to provide it.

The following are important tips how you can minimize the impact of a divorce on your child:

1. Manage your emotions and anger. Your child can know that this is a difficult time for you. Do not forget that strong emotions can scare your child.

2. Make sure your child knows that the world is a safe place where his or her needs will be met.

3. Do not blame your spouse. Your child must know that they can continue to have a great relationship with both of their parents.

4. Explain to your child that you are getting divorced together with your spouse.

5. Your child does not need to know the specifics of why you are getting divorced. However, your child does need to know that both of his or her parents are still committed to the child. Your child's reaction to the news that you are getting divorced will vary depending upon their age and personality. For all children, there will be a huge sense of shock, confusion and anxiety. Your child may also be angry

6. Answer your child's questions honestly and make sure that they know that they can approach you if and when they need to talk.

7. Reassure your child that the separation is not their fault and that you and your spouse will not stop loving them or leave them.

8. Provide your child with confidence about any new living arrangements.

9. Explain to your child that it is ok to keep loving both of their parents.

10. Understand that divorce is not a one-off event for a child but a decision that impacts them for the rest of their life. Reassurance needs to continue over many months and years.

11. Maintain routines and boundaries to minimize internal turmoil. Keep life the same as it has been with bedtimes, mealtimes, brushing teeth and going to school.

12. Accept changes in your child's behavior as normal but support and encourage your child to get back on track.

13. Establish regular face to face contact and phone times. Also, e-mail and text your child on his or her cellular telephone.

14. Never let your child down by being late or cancelling your visitation and time-sharing. Many children are insecure about contact and access and may interpret this as rejection.

15. Become a co-operative parent for your child.

16. Keep in regular contact with your spouse to discuss co-parenting concerns and your parenting plan. Do not use your child as a messenger or go-between.

17. If you are not sure how to help your child during your divorce, make an appointment with a therapist.